Spotlight Blog 1 Prompt

Regardless of which option you choose, make sure to use the tag “Spotlight” on your post. Also include the tag listed for the option you choose below.

Option 1 – Use the tag “Development”

As divorce has become more and more common in the US, the number of children affected by divorce has increased greatly. The effects of divorce on children are controversial and there are a number of opinions out there on just what is “best” for kids. If you select this option, I want you to find two credible sources that argue divorce is inherently harmful to children and two credible sources that argue children can come through a divorce without serious consequences. Make sure to assess the arguments and supporting data presented in each source, explain what makes the source credible, and state which side of the issue you think is correct based on your reading. Make sure to list all sources at the end of your post.

Option 2 – Use the tag “Memory”

Now that we’ve discussed how learning and memory work and you’ve had a chance to think about your own study skills, I want you to critically evaluate websites that give students advice about how to study. If you select this option, I want you to find three different websites that provide advice for studying: one targeted toward college students, one targeted toward middle or high school students, and one targeted toward parents. Evaluate the advice provided on each and compare it to what you know about how memory works (include sources), making sure to correct anything you think is bad advice. Be sure to include links to the websites you are evaluating.

Option 3 – Use the tag “Drugs”

We covered the biology of addiction as well as basic information about the types of drugs of abuse out there, but we didn’t spend much time talking about treatment. The two most prominent treatment philosophies (arguably) are the abstinence model and the harm reduction model. Find two credible sources that advocate the abstinence model and two credible sources that advocate the harm reduction model. Make sure to assess the arguments and supporting data presented in each source, explain what makes the source credible, and state which model you think is better based on your reading. Make sure to list all sources at the end of your post.

I look forward to seeing what you write!

Header image: CC by Flickr user Thomas Hawk
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Development of Proper Parenting

Did you have a good childhood? This is a question that a lot of people may think about a few times in their life. One factor that plays an important role in deciding an answer for this question is how their parents’ raised them, that is if they had parents who raised them. Parents have their own ways of raising their children; however, some parents may use methods that they think, but in reality they are not, beneficial to raising children. There are certain methods, life lessons, as well as must haves that parents must give and teach to their children in order to help them grow up to be happy, healthy, and productive members of society.

Parents are the guiding force leading their children through life until they are ready to take control of their lives and be able to manage surviving in the real world on their own feet. In order to be an ideal parent there are some things that a person needs to be able to do and that includes look after their own children, make sure that they are healthy and happy, and most importantly love their children. Children need love from their parents and to know that they are loved by them. Loving your own child is the most important thing that a parent can give their children; however, that alone is not enough to help them grow up to be healthy and productive members of society. In order to be an ideal parent one must be able to give them kindness, be kind and caring, be able to discipline and give tough love when needed. A parent must be able to make sure that their children are in good health, receiving a proper education, eating healthy, and help with any problems they may have.  Parents also need to teach their children important life lessons, facts about the world, how to treat others, how to stand up for themselves and for others. Things that a parent should do is encourage their kids to be active with a group of people or in an activity, allow them to be able to enjoy life, teach them how to be independent and responsible as they get older, and be able to catch their children if they fall or stray too far away.  and make sure that their children know their own dignity and self-worth. Three of the most important things that a parent should give their children, alongside love, is letting them know their own dignity and self-worth as well as is teaching them to have a firm belief and faith in God and the church. Everybody should have someone to turn to, someone bigger than themselves to believe in, and will let them know that they do mean something.

A parent is someone who cares for their children and truly loves them, even if they may not be blood related. A bond between a parent and child is something truly special and unique. I might have said earlier that parents’ guide their children, but children also help guide their parents through life and through everything. Being a parent is hard and being an ideal parent is even harder, so even someone does not have all of the little details I have listed that does not make them a lesser parent, it just means that they are still trying to help raise their children as best as they can. On a final note being presented with the title of parent is a gift and not something be taken lightly.


The way I see it everyone has their own parenting style and there are many that can be effective. Based on theory I do not believe that their is a certain “parenting style” that will work the best. For the sake of the question being asked, I feel as though the best answer for what type of parents produce the kids who are, “most likely to produce children who grow up to be happy, healthy, and productive members of society.” is the authoritative role. This may be biased, but I was raised on this system and I feel as though it taught me the rights and wrongs and what would happen in the events of both happening. This style of parenting taught me discipline while at the same time allowing me to understand my mistakes without harsh punishment. With this type of parenting it allows for order and experimentation which I feel is needed in the life of kids, but it also allows for a figure to set an example for the kids to follow. With this being said I still feel this type of parenting is determinant on how the parent uses this approach and can still be a very faulty system if it is not performed well.

How a parent could raise their kids.

This is a tough subject. Anytime you try to correct bad parenting the pride of the parent tends to get the best of them and then any suggestion afterwards is thrown out. Other parents don’t even care about what they do wrong, because they never wanted their kids in the first place. There are a few precepts to establish in order to fully develop a successful individual from an infant. If the child is starting life in an unbalanced household missing a father, mother, both, or torn between two different households the child is going to be at a disadvantage from the start but, there can be measures taken to ensure the child still feels the same love, acceptance and experiences quality discipline just like a child would from a full household. For the sake of this post we will discuss how two parents in a successful marriage, who have well thought out and planned their pregnancy should go about raising their child into a competent, confident and successful individual.

When raising a child you have to realize you’re not perfect and your flaws will affect your children but that is not your fault and do not beat yourself up over this, it’s just how the cookie crumbles. Now that is not to say that you should be openly smoking, drinking, arguing, and cursing around your children. Children repeat and learn from everything they see and hear while growing up. If you’re worried about your children receiving negative habits from you the first thing you have to do is reflect on what issues you have that you can choose to change. What things do you struggle with that you can choose to withhold from your children? In order to keep from tainting their outlook on life and give them the best chance at making their own decisions when the time comes. A child is going to want to do exactly what you say they can’t do. In order to lessen the intense rebellion most children feel towards their parents you have to tell your child right from wrong and allow them to decide for themselves. Now don’t just let your child walk into a pit of flames. At certain times you must be the hand of God and take their decision making from them when you know that they are about to get caught up in something they can learn from while avoiding. Hopefully through actively teaching your child through your own life they will have learned by the time these types of decisions come their way that they will have your guidance in the back of their mind and since you did not beat them over the head with your beliefs they will gladly listen to that recording of your voice in the back of their brain. Raising a child is not a competition and your child is not to showcase your greatness, they are their own individual and you have to let them be themselves. When raising a child you have to realize no matter how much you want them to be a 5 year old forever they won’t one day they will have their own career, their own husband or wife, and a child of their own.

Their are a few things you cannot do if you want your child to become successful in this life. Do not let your child disrespect you. Once a child has found out they can do whatever they want and get away with it the battle to regain that dominance over them is increasingly harder to win as they develop. Do not dismiss and neglect your child. Once your child feels their feelings do not matter to you, they will begin to harness a hatred for you and this will play out in their rebellion later on in life. I think the biggest issue with parenting these days is the generational curse of bad parenting. It takes a momentous epiphany to break the vicious cycle of bad parenting. Without a doubt the number one tactic you must hold prominent over-all in child development is discipline you must teach your child there is a consequence for every action in this life. Discipline should not be such a fearful thing for a child. Your child should fear what you’re capable of because this is healthy for their respect for you, but their fear should be placed more in your disappointment rather than the lashings. Spanking your children only teaches them how to survive through the physical pain after they have committed an offense. All the belt does is relieve your stress in a negative way and develop small amounts of hatred towards you in their minds. Now if you and your child both know they knew what they were doing was wrong, yet they went ahead and did it anyways, this is parameters for a whooping. When you do decide you have to get physical with a child do not do it out of anger but out of level headedness with their future in mind. Do not get outrageous with the pain you submit them to. Do not bully your child. Spankings are a last resort not the first. Remember a slap to the mouth although is satisfying to you, is not what is best for the child’s self esteem, a bar of soap will do you and your child much better in the long run. Finally if you want your child to be successful in this life you must consistently push them to be their best and always let them know of your love and acceptance for them.



Development // The Ideal Parents

Hi everyone,

This week’s topic is:

Tiger moms, jellyfish dads, and helicopter parents. These terms all refer to various parenting styles and each has been both promoted as an ideal and criticized as “the problem with kids these days.” We will discuss parenting this week, but I’m curious what you think is the “best” way to parent. By “best” I mean most likely to produce children who grow up to be happy, healthy, and productive members of society. Write your post about the ideal way parents should raise their kids.

As a Chinese-American, I grew up with a Tiger mom. To make things equal, my dad was also quite demanding, just not as much as my mom. If you’re not familiar with the term “Tiger mom”, it is a strict mom who pushes her children to achieve high standards in academics and extracurriculars. The goal of Tiger moms (or parents) is to raise multi-talented and academically successful children. Although this may sound idealistic to some people, Tiger parenting has its negatives. Many children raised by tiger parents end up becoming productive members of society, however, they lack in happiness and health. A lot of Tiger parents are so focused on creating carbon copies of other “successful” children that they ignore and forget about their children’s emotions, thoughts and feelings. They forget that not all children are built the same way. They forget that there are more career options than doctor, engineer and lawyer. Most importantly, they forget that happiness is also connected to successfulness.

Coming from a background that highly values the act of working hard, I believe children should always be pushed to do their best. It depends on the parents’ values when it comes to how much a parent should focus on their children’s academics, activities and etc. Contrast to the limitations of Tiger parenting, I also believe children should be exposed to open options. It’s important for the child to discover what they like and want to do by themselves instead of having the parent decide  the child’s future. Parents should be a source of guidance and not a source of decision. They should establish trust and connection with their children through communication.

There is no “perfect” way to raise a child, considering that every child is different. In the end, parents will have to modify their parenting techniques as their children grow and change.


Parenting Styles

Although I believe there isn’t a single, “ideal” way for one to raise their children, there are several overarching themes that should be present in their parenting style. These themes include: unconditional love, discipline, and dependability.

It should go without saying that one should have unconditional love for their children. Since parents are the first support system that a child has, they should enthusiastically embrace what their child is passionate about. This means not forcing their aspirations on their child so they can discover their own meaning in life. They should also be sure to not love their children in spite of their flaws, but because of them. Parents should teach their children that it’s expected to have flaws and they’re a part of what makes us unique. Showing a child unconditional love early on helps them mirror the values of acceptance and fosters their sense of self-worth. They can now go on to build healthy relationships, founded on trust and acceptance, with people other than their parents.

Unconditional love goes a long way when raising a child, however, it should not be synonymous with negligence to glaring problems. Parents should always advocate for their child’s happiness within healthy/moral limits. They should be quick to steer their child away from habits and behaviors that cannot impact their lives in any meaningful way e.g. drug use. Discipline is often the hardest concept for parents to grasp since it can put a temporary strain on their relationship with their child. It is, however, critical to healthy development. With so many options in the world, discipline helps guide a child to a correct decision and, maybe one day, helps them make their own sound decisions. Discipline also teaches a child that they’re not entitled to everything just because they want something-which is a very important concept in the adult world.

Finally, dependability is a trait parents must show towards their children. As I stated earlier, parents are the first support system someone has. Due to this, children place all of their trust into their parents during early development. If a parent is undependable, a child feels as though they are not worth someone’s time and may begin to feel as if they are unwanted. Children must be shown this type of support so they know there are people in the world that will treat them how they deserve to be treated.

Parenting Styles and Development

There are different types of parenting styles that are used to help children develop for the future. There is tiger moms, jellyfish dad, and helicopter parents as the different types of parenting.A tiger mom is very strict with her children because she is willing to push them to success and want them to be discipline for the adulthood.A jellyfish dad is more relaxed and gives his children more freedom to do what they want.A helicopter parent pays attention to their children problems and experiences.

Having a mixture of parent styles would be more  beneficial because kids will have freedom but also responsibilities to help children know about the choices they make and the consequences.Kids these days behave the way they do because their parents don’t take action to discipline them.Children are influenced by the actions they observe whether its television, school, friends, strangers or parents.Being a strict parent can cause the children to be successful or they can defy their parents by wanting to have their own freedom. A parent that is relaxed and laid back without concerning the life of their kids can lead to more freedom and can cause problems by being delinquents. Depending on the type of parenting styles is how children will develop.

The Struggles of Parenting

Now looking back, and after experiencing so much after living in San Francisco for about a month taking care of two kids, I see now how hard it is to “parent”. Nowadays, it seems that everybody and everyone is pointing fingers at the parents- blaming the adults for not taking proper care of the child, for letting the kids do what they want, for punishing the kids too harshly. It is almost as if every wrong move or bad the decision the child would make, could be traced back to the parent. If the child ended up with sloppy manners, or a rude demeanor, or even started to do petty crimes, society and other environmental factors are not considered first many times. It all goes back to how the parent taught the kid and whether or not he or she stopped or encouraged the bad behavior.

There seems to be no perfect parenting style. Everybody is bound to make an honest mistake or two, and children sometimes grow up and disregard everything that was taught to them due to different circumstances and environmental factors. All this being said, there are ways to prevent and promote good behavior.

To me, the best way to parent is to find a balance between being too strict and being too lenient. I believe there should be drawing of hard lines for behavior that is absolutely not allowed (such as stealing, hitting others, bullying, name calling, and extreme lying), and rewarding kids for things (like getting good grades, being polite, doing good deeds, cleaning up after themselves, showing respect to others, doing acts of kindness, etc…) Parents should take their prior experiences and lessons learned into account. What methods that their parents do that worked for them and what methods didn’t?

In addition, I think that parents should follow the rules that they set for their own kids. For instance, if you as a parent, tell your kid not to do something, then you should refrain from doing that action yourself. When the child sees the parent setting a good example and following through, naturally, the child will be more inclined to follow directions, or at least won’t bring up the excuse of the parent not following the rules.

Exposing the child to other kids and people will be super beneficial as well. The more they talk with others, the more they will learn to deal and handle different situations. If the parent can monitor and check over some of their interactions and correct or reprimand if they don’t share, or if they purposely bump or scream at other kids, then the kids should soon learn what is “good” and “bad behavior.”

Sometimes, kids just don’t understand what the parent is saying. No matter how you say it, or what you say, they might not get it. However, once they reach a certain age, or after you repeat things again and again, the child will eventually catch on to what you are trying to say. I’ve seen this work in person with my nephew. I believe that taking the time to explain with what is wrong, or with why things happen even if you don’t want them to, can really help the child understand and learn from the experience rather than just plain yelling at the child without giving them any explanation at all.

Even though it may be tough at times, if the parent maintains a happy visage and maintains a positive environment, the child should grow up with happy memories as they will have no negative experiences to draw from. If the home is safe and warm, it is my opinion that the child will be as such as well.


Parenting Styles

I think the best way to parent kids is to let them know that they are loved unconditionally while making sure that boundaries and rules are set. I think that engaging with a child about what is right and wrong and why certain rules are important and need to be followed is critical to long term development. For example, when bedtime is or why you need to be nice to others should be rules that should be set and explained. For my parents, whenever I questioned a rule I was always given a reason as to why the rule was important and needed to be followed such as it is important to get sleep or brushing your teeth is good for you.

I also never felt the need to conform to a certain standard which I think is important. A parent should not force their version of what activities a person should be involved in onto their child, such as sports, debate, or choir. If a child wants to play sports, that should be encouraged, but if they don’t, it shouldn’t be forced upon them. I think it is important for a child to express their own interests, and parents should support their dreams and ambitions. That is not to say that parents shouldn’t sign their kids up for soccer or dancing lessons; I believe that parents should help their children find lots of different activities, but if a child doesn’t like something, it shouldn’t be forced upon them.

This principle does have its limits though. There are certain things that I believe are important to instill from a young age like exercise and academic pursuit, but I believe these goals can be achieved while keeping the child’s interests in mind. Encouraging playing outside on a playground, hopscotch, or dancing with friends are all great ways to have social and physical activities in everyday life. In regards to academics, I personally believe reading to children is critical. I think stories can garner important lessons about morality and how we should treat one another as well as instill curiosity and hopefully helps to foster a love of reading. No matter what profession a child will eventually grow up to have, reading in my opinion is critical to academic growth as well as being important to everyday life. Personally, some of my favorite memories from when I was younger are from when my mom was reading to me.

I also think that parents shouldn’t place an excessive amount of pressure on children’s grades or extracurricular achievements. Achievements should always be celebrated, but they are not the most important thing in life, especially when a child is young. As a child, I placed more pressure on myself for grades than my parents did, and while success was always celebrated, it was always made clear that school and grades are an important part of life but they are not the most important.

My parents always treated me with respect, and I believe that that is why I have such a great relationship with them. I tell my parents everything in my life, and I hope to one day parent children as well as my parents parented me. I always felt that my parents would love me no matter what and I think that is the basis that allowed me to grow into the person I am today. Every child is different, but overall, I think parents should teach children how to be individuals by allowing them to make their own decisions with thorough guidance and support while always designating clear and consistent boundaries and rules.

Development: Parenting Styles

As members of society we all question what makes a good citizen? The way that we respond in society in my opinion has to do with the way that we are raised by our parents. The big dilemma is knowing what is the perfect method of raising our children so that they will be happy, but they will also be productive adults in society.

Based on my own experience I think that children have to be raised with a mixture of parenting styles in order to get a well balanced outcome. In society we see two main parenting styles that are found on very opposite sides of the social spectrum. Some parents tend to be very strict while others seem to be very hands off and trustworthy of their children’s decisions.  Children should be treated with respect, an acceptance for responsibility, and the idea that great rewards come with hard-work. I think that at an early age children should be taught to be responsible for their actions because that helps build their character, and it shows them that their bad behavior can have many repercussions. It is important to always make children feel that they are respected because that makes them understand that their character is how we present ourselves to the people around us. By laying down a strict hand on children, they are able to see that life is not all fun and games, and that they must  be responsible for their actions. Placing a little bit of fear in children allows them to really think twice about their decisions. By fear I mean a fear that they can harm themselves or others around them. Most children grow looking up to their parents that is why the establishment of good character comes from the actual behaviors of the parents.

On the other hand, being too strict can cause children too become unhappy and rebellious towards the decisions of their parents. I sometimes have experienced this because as the oldest child I am responsible for setting a standard of good character for my two younger brothers. Many times I have questioned why my parents are too harsh when it comes to my education and decision-making, but now at an older age I realize they did this so that one day I would be prepared to face the world alone. In order to allow children to be happy parents should give them a sense of trust. If children know that they are trusted they will try to prove themselves to their parents; which in turn will help them make good decisions. At times a greater sense of trust can lead children to make mistakes,but this will allow them to learn how to improve themselves when faced with obstacles. No human is perfect, and our mistakes do actually help us grow into better versions of ourselves. Children should be rewarded with some freedom once in awhile so they can see that their good behavior will bring about positive outcomes in their lives.

All children are different making it nearly impossible to have one universal parenting style. Parents should always be open to new experiences in order to help their children grow, but also let them make mistakes so that they know that life can be hard but there is always a way to make things end in a positive way. The best parenting style is to be strict to allow children to grow, but also have lots of  trust so the children can see that life can always have a bright side, but the choice to be happy lies in their own hands.