Now looking back, and after experiencing so much after living in San Francisco for about a month taking care of two kids, I see now how hard it is to “parent”. Nowadays, it seems that everybody and everyone is pointing fingers at the parents- blaming the adults for not taking proper care of the child, for letting the kids do what they want, for punishing the kids too harshly. It is almost as if every wrong move or bad the decision the child would make, could be traced back to the parent. If the child ended up with sloppy manners, or a rude demeanor, or even started to do petty crimes, society and other environmental factors are not considered first many times. It all goes back to how the parent taught the kid and whether or not he or she stopped or encouraged the bad behavior.

There seems to be no perfect parenting style. Everybody is bound to make an honest mistake or two, and children sometimes grow up and disregard everything that was taught to them due to different circumstances and environmental factors. All this being said, there are ways to prevent and promote good behavior.

To me, the best way to parent is to find a balance between being too strict and being too lenient. I believe there should be drawing of hard lines for behavior that is absolutely not allowed (such as stealing, hitting others, bullying, name calling, and extreme lying), and rewarding kids for things (like getting good grades, being polite, doing good deeds, cleaning up after themselves, showing respect to others, doing acts of kindness, etc…) Parents should take their prior experiences and lessons learned into account. What methods that their parents do that worked for them and what methods didn’t?

In addition, I think that parents should follow the rules that they set for their own kids. For instance, if you as a parent, tell your kid not to do something, then you should refrain from doing that action yourself. When the child sees the parent setting a good example and following through, naturally, the child will be more inclined to follow directions, or at least won’t bring up the excuse of the parent not following the rules.

Exposing the child to other kids and people will be super beneficial as well. The more they talk with others, the more they will learn to deal and handle different situations. If the parent can monitor and check over some of their interactions and correct or reprimand if they don’t share, or if they purposely bump or scream at other kids, then the kids should soon learn what is “good” and “bad behavior.”

Sometimes, kids just don’t understand what the parent is saying. No matter how you say it, or what you say, they might not get it. However, once they reach a certain age, or after you repeat things again and again, the child will eventually catch on to what you are trying to say. I’ve seen this work in person with my nephew. I believe that taking the time to explain with what is wrong, or with why things happen even if you don’t want them to, can really help the child understand and learn from the experience rather than just plain yelling at the child without giving them any explanation at all.

Even though it may be tough at times, if the parent maintains a happy visage and maintains a positive environment, the child should grow up with happy memories as they will have no negative experiences to draw from. If the home is safe and warm, it is my opinion that the child will be as such as well.

I think the best way to parent kids is to let them know that they are loved unconditionally while making sure that boundaries and rules are set. I think that engaging with a child about what is right and wrong and why certain rules are important and need to be followed is critical to long term development. For example, when bedtime is or why you need to be nice to others should be rules that should be set and explained. For my parents, whenever I questioned a rule I was always given a reason as to why the rule was important and needed to be followed such as it is important to get sleep or brushing your teeth is good for you.

I also never felt the need to conform to a certain standard which I think is important. A parent should not force their version of what activities a person should be involved in onto their child, such as sports, debate, or choir. If a child wants to play sports, that should be encouraged, but if they don’t, it shouldn’t be forced upon them. I think it is important for a child to express their own interests, and parents should support their dreams and ambitions. That is not to say that parents shouldn’t sign their kids up for soccer or dancing lessons; I believe that parents should help their children find lots of different activities, but if a child doesn’t like something, it shouldn’t be forced upon them.

This principle does have its limits though. There are certain things that I believe are important to instill from a young age like exercise and academic pursuit, but I believe these goals can be achieved while keeping the child’s interests in mind. Encouraging playing outside on a playground, hopscotch, or dancing with friends are all great ways to have social and physical activities in everyday life. In regards to academics, I personally believe reading to children is critical. I think stories can garner important lessons about morality and how we should treat one another as well as instill curiosity and hopefully helps to foster a love of reading. No matter what profession a child will eventually grow up to have, reading in my opinion is critical to academic growth as well as being important to everyday life. Personally, some of my favorite memories from when I was younger are from when my mom was reading to me.

I also think that parents shouldn’t place an excessive amount of pressure on children’s grades or extracurricular achievements. Achievements should always be celebrated, but they are not the most important thing in life, especially when a child is young. As a child, I placed more pressure on myself for grades than my parents did, and while success was always celebrated, it was always made clear that school and grades are an important part of life but they are not the most important.

My parents always treated me with respect, and I believe that that is why I have such a great relationship with them. I tell my parents everything in my life, and I hope to one day parent children as well as my parents parented me. I always felt that my parents would love me no matter what and I think that is the basis that allowed me to grow into the person I am today. Every child is different, but overall, I think parents should teach children how to be individuals by allowing them to make their own decisions with thorough guidance and support while always designating clear and consistent boundaries and rules.

As members of society we all question what makes a good citizen? The way that we respond in society in my opinion has to do with the way that we are raised by our parents. The big dilemma is knowing what is the perfect method of raising our children so that they will be happy, but they will also be productive adults in society.

Based on my own experience I think that children have to be raised with a mixture of parenting styles in order to get a well balanced outcome. In society we see two main parenting styles that are found on very opposite sides of the social spectrum. Some parents tend to be very strict while others seem to be very hands off and trustworthy of their children’s decisions.  Children should be treated with respect, an acceptance for responsibility, and the idea that great rewards come with hard-work. I think that at an early age children should be taught to be responsible for their actions because that helps build their character, and it shows them that their bad behavior can have many repercussions. It is important to always make children feel that they are respected because that makes them understand that their character is how we present ourselves to the people around us. By laying down a strict hand on children, they are able to see that life is not all fun and games, and that they must  be responsible for their actions. Placing a little bit of fear in children allows them to really think twice about their decisions. By fear I mean a fear that they can harm themselves or others around them. Most children grow looking up to their parents that is why the establishment of good character comes from the actual behaviors of the parents.

On the other hand, being too strict can cause children too become unhappy and rebellious towards the decisions of their parents. I sometimes have experienced this because as the oldest child I am responsible for setting a standard of good character for my two younger brothers. Many times I have questioned why my parents are too harsh when it comes to my education and decision-making, but now at an older age I realize they did this so that one day I would be prepared to face the world alone. In order to allow children to be happy parents should give them a sense of trust. If children know that they are trusted they will try to prove themselves to their parents; which in turn will help them make good decisions. At times a greater sense of trust can lead children to make mistakes,but this will allow them to learn how to improve themselves when faced with obstacles. No human is perfect, and our mistakes do actually help us grow into better versions of ourselves. Children should be rewarded with some freedom once in awhile so they can see that their good behavior will bring about positive outcomes in their lives.

All children are different making it nearly impossible to have one universal parenting style. Parents should always be open to new experiences in order to help their children grow, but also let them make mistakes so that they know that life can be hard but there is always a way to make things end in a positive way. The best parenting style is to be strict to allow children to grow, but also have lots of  trust so the children can see that life can always have a bright side, but the choice to be happy lies in their own hands.

What is the “best” way to parent? The answer varies depending on who you ask. I think one of the greatest way to raise a child is to lead by example. A child is born observing. We always see children trying to be like mommy or daddy by wearing their shoes or copying their behavior. Mommy and daddy are almost like superheroes when kids are younger and the kids want to be just like them. Children are learning how to behave from the way their parents behave. Parents can tell their kids to be kind to others, not to lie, not to curse, but if the kids see their parents doing all of these things, they will be more likely to follow their example rather than their empty words.

One of the best things a parent can do, especially as a child gets older, is to listen. Children are in need of a guardian and model. They need to know that they can place their trust in someone that truly cares for them. If a parent is always there to listen to their child and make them feel loved, the child will not go searching for this affection and sense of belonging elsewhere in a person or group that could harm or corrupt them.

I also think that encouragement is a huge part of parenting. If a parent only criticizes, the child will most likely become self -conscious and will have very little faith in their own abilities. If a parent encourages their child when they achieve something or encourages their child to achieve something, the child will be much more confident in their ability and potential. They can then become a much more developed, productive, and happy member of society.

I believe that being the person you want your child to be, listening to your child, and encouraging them to reach their potential is a great beginning to being the “best” parent you can be.

Between all three parenting options provided, the parenting style that I have been exposed to over my youth, and the one that I’m most familiar with, is helicopter parenting.  Looking at all the main types of parenting, there is not just one that is the perfect model for every family to follow.  Being a helicopter parent towards a naturally defiant child will probably cause more harm than good, rather than a child who is more laid back and quiet.  At times, parents can shift their options into any given parenting mode due to the current situation at hand.  If a child is doing poorly in school or has a lack of interest in extracurricular activities, the “tiger mom” would be the most likely stylistic approach to a child that’s lacking in his or her performance at school.  Or, if a child seems to be weary when an adult is in the room while they are on the computer, the “helicopter parent” approach would be taken very quickly, and all for good reasons to protect and observe their child’s online history and activities.  The “jellyfish dad” is the all too familiar stereotype that dads are the fun ones and are the ones to go to if you needed something, which I think is unfair to hardworking and more strict fathers.  From my personal experience, I find that the helicopter approach, when done in a healthy way, helps a child navigate through their adolescent years safely and allows them to approach things with knowledge and caution.   

When discussing how to approach parenting, many people may have different ideas of what good parents are. However, there’s only two types of parenting styles that people seem to agree with and execute.  You have the strict and controlling parents, and there’s also parents that are extremely relaxed when it comes to discipline and guiding their children.

I believe that both parenting styles should be combined to produced happy, healthy, and productive members of society. Parents should

Many people have heard of the ways that parenting can backfire such as tiger moms and the helicopter parents.  These concepts can work however tend to backfire at least in my eyes.  As we grow we adapt and change and I believe due to this parents need to change as well because grounding a seventeen year old for doing something they shouldn’t do isn’t going to produce the same results if the actions are done to a two year old.  Being able to adapt to your child’s needs and age can be a huge help.  The best example I can put to this is I can’t really follow a traditional approach with my son due to medical issues he has encountered in his life.  So the best parent is the one that is always able to change because no parenting style really works for everyone by itself you have to be an adaptable parent to be the best parent you can.

This week in psychology we are studying development, which is highly influenced by the parenting style that is used. In my opinion, parents should take a more relaxed stance unless the child starts causing an issue. If you just butt in to everything your child does and try to make them fit your needs, instead of letting them find themselves, then they may very likely grow to resent you. This resentment can lead to rebellion and they may become better at hiding things from you, which can lead to bigger problems then if you were more relaxed from the first place. Of course you can’t just let your kids to whatever, but it’s better not only on you, but on the kids, if you gently guide them in a good direction, then the kids will be allowed to make and learn from small mistakes, instead of hiding massive ones. I was raised in a house with relaxed parents, and I can’t see myself being raised any other way, because had I been with strict parents, parents who make me do what they want, or both, I would not be where I am today. My chill parents let me watch mature shows like “Dr. G: Medical Examiner” and “Untold Stories From the ER” at an early age, which allowed me to realize that I want to be a doctor at 8 years old, which has motivated me to do well ever since. Had I been with “helicopter” parents, I may have never found my passion for medicine, and may have been in an awful place right now. It’s important to teach your kids everything they need to know, but that doesn’t mean you have to suffocate them, it’s all about teaching things at the right time, and allowing kids to learn some things for themselves. 

What are the characteristics of an ideal parent? I don’t think any parent to be really knows what types of methods they are going to parent with. I think that as the kids grow older and change into their own person, the parenting style morphs into what is required for the child to grow up happy, healthy and a productive member of the society. Each child is different so each parenting style is different, but all parents want the best for their children so they try to teach them right from wrong and good from bad.

Some parenting techniques that I think work well include, the reward system, learning from mistakes, discipline in the needed circumstances, and the “like mommy/daddy do, the child does.” Of course, there are many others, these are just some of the main ones that I think would be beneficial for the child to grow up to be strong and independent! First, the reward system, I think that when the child is in their younger years giving them rewards for certain positive activities is a good way of reinforcing that they are moving in the right direction. For example, if a child is undergoing the process of potty training and they use the restroom in the toilet, they should be given a reward such as an M&M along with a positive affirmation. If the parent was just giving the child affirmation, maybe the child would not be able to completely comprehend, so, the candy is there to back-up the words and give them something positive that they can understand better. Second, learning from mistakes is a crucial part in growing up. I think this goes hand-in-hand with my third technique, discipline in needed circumstances, because if the child does not learn from a mistake that he/she had already made then discipline is crucial for them to understand that it is not okay to do whatever they did, and this is the last string so they should not do that again. Whatever form of discipline that the parents chooses based on what they think is right for the child, that particular act should not be done again. As the child grows older, I think that the discipline should get more strict since the child needs to become independent. I do believe there should be friendship between parent and child, but there should always be an understanding that the child should listen to the parent. Finally, “like mommy/daddy do, the child does,” this is something that I have noticed within my own family friends. Younger children watch their parents to see what they say and what activities they do, children like to mimic people who they look up to. So, the parent should always be on their best behavior because they are always being watched by the child who is ready to mimic everything they do.

As I mentioned earlier, there are endless techniques and styles for parenting children. Every parent is different and every child requires a different parenting method. At the end of of the day, every parent wants their children to grow up to be independent, healthy, and productive members of the society, they will do anything in their power to do exactly that!

One can find all kinds of different parenting styles across the various cultures of the world. With this being the case, I do not believe in there being a single ideal way to parent. In addition, every child is different; what may benefit one child may not promote the well-being of another (even if the other child is in the same family). On the other hand, I do think there should be (and maybe there are) some universal principles which can apply to all cultures:

First, parents should refrain from trying to replicate their own interests through their children. What I mean by this is children, especially adolescents, should never have to sacrifice their own self-development under the pressure of their parents’ hopes. When it comes to the image of the “Tiger mom,” it is not so much the behavior as it is the reason behind it which can serve major implications. Some of these moms simply treat their children with tough love out of wanting the best for them. Others are hard on their kids because they want them to pursue a dream which they (the parent) once had. I strongly disagree with this mindset because it shows how these parents are not only hard on their kids, but it shows how they are acting this way out of their own interest, not out of love. I am not saying that these types of parents do not love their children, but the attitude which they go about raising their children with is not the right attitude to have, especially with children and adolescents who are still learning the ways of the world and who are tying to figure out their own aspirations in life.

Second, parents should confront their own anxieties and love their children without dictating them. This point is meant to tie in with the previous one. Parents should exert control to further their child’s abilities, not to promote their own interests and defend their own superiority. Many parents wish for their children to live better lives than they once had; sometimes parents even try to make their children live an almost perfect life either because they grew up on the opposite spectrum from perfect or because they in fact grew up very fortunate. Whichever the case, I believe the pursuit of perfection gets in the way of the pursuit of happiness.

Finally, I believe parents should treat their children as their children. By this, I reject the concept of using wealth to buy the happiness and affection of the child and/or using wealth to make up for lost time spent with the child. If parents insist on engaging in this behavior, then how will their children be able to associate happiness, affection, time, and love without money? Using money to serve as the concrete form of such an abstract concept (happiness) will not result in a child who grows up to be happy. It may temporarily cause the child happiness, but in the end, they will be unable to dissociate happiness from money (which I believe is correlational, not causational). My final point with this principle has to do with parents playing the role of the child’s parent and not the role of friend. In my case, both of my parents grew up in very different cultures, but they both agreed that a parent is not a friend. On one hand, parents are a lot like friends in many ways. For example, both parents and friends offer a source of support and should want what is best for you. On the other hand, parents and friends have different ideas of what is best (and typically it is assumed that parents know better what is best over friends, as they are older and more experienced). In addition, parents are more of a permanent source of support because at the end of they day, friends come and go as you move through life; your parents should (and typically will) always defend you, no matter what petty argument you just had with them.