How a parent could raise their kids.

This is a tough subject. Anytime you try to correct bad parenting the pride of the parent tends to get the best of them and then any suggestion afterwards is thrown out. Other parents don’t even care about what they do wrong, because they never wanted their kids in the first place. There are a few precepts to establish in order to fully develop a successful individual from an infant. If the child is starting life in an unbalanced household missing a father, mother, both, or torn between two different households the child is going to be at a disadvantage from the start but, there can be measures taken to ensure the child still feels the same love, acceptance and experiences quality discipline just like a child would from a full household. For the sake of this post we will discuss how two parents in a successful marriage, who have well thought out and planned their pregnancy should go about raising their child into a competent, confident and successful individual.

When raising a child you have to realize you’re not perfect and your flaws will affect your children but that is not your fault and do not beat yourself up over this, it’s just how the cookie crumbles. Now that is not to say that you should be openly smoking, drinking, arguing, and cursing around your children. Children repeat and learn from everything they see and hear while growing up. If you’re worried about your children receiving negative habits from you the first thing you have to do is reflect on what issues you have that you can choose to change. What things do you struggle with that you can choose to withhold from your children? In order to keep from tainting their outlook on life and give them the best chance at making their own decisions when the time comes. A child is going to want to do exactly what you say they can’t do. In order to lessen the intense rebellion most children feel towards their parents you have to tell your child right from wrong and allow them to decide for themselves. Now don’t just let your child walk into a pit of flames. At certain times you must be the hand of God and take their decision making from them when you know that they are about to get caught up in something they can learn from while avoiding. Hopefully through actively teaching your child through your own life they will have learned by the time these types of decisions come their way that they will have your guidance in the back of their mind and since you did not beat them over the head with your beliefs they will gladly listen to that recording of your voice in the back of their brain. Raising a child is not a competition and your child is not to showcase your greatness, they are their own individual and you have to let them be themselves. When raising a child you have to realize no matter how much you want them to be a 5 year old forever they won’t one day they will have their own career, their own husband or wife, and a child of their own.

Their are a few things you cannot do if you want your child to become successful in this life. Do not let your child disrespect you. Once a child has found out they can do whatever they want and get away with it the battle to regain that dominance over them is increasingly harder to win as they develop. Do not dismiss and neglect your child. Once your child feels their feelings do not matter to you, they will begin to harness a hatred for you and this will play out in their rebellion later on in life. I think the biggest issue with parenting these days is the generational curse of bad parenting. It takes a momentous epiphany to break the vicious cycle of bad parenting. Without a doubt the number one tactic you must hold prominent over-all in child development is discipline you must teach your child there is a consequence for every action in this life. Discipline should not be such a fearful thing for a child. Your child should fear what you’re capable of because this is healthy for their respect for you, but their fear should be placed more in your disappointment rather than the lashings. Spanking your children only teaches them how to survive through the physical pain after they have committed an offense. All the belt does is relieve your stress in a negative way and develop small amounts of hatred towards you in their minds. Now if you and your child both know they knew what they were doing was wrong, yet they went ahead and did it anyways, this is parameters for a whooping. When you do decide you have to get physical with a child do not do it out of anger but out of level headedness with their future in mind. Do not get outrageous with the pain you submit them to. Do not bully your child. Spankings are a last resort not the first. Remember a slap to the mouth although is satisfying to you, is not what is best for the child’s self esteem, a bar of soap will do you and your child much better in the long run. Finally if you want your child to be successful in this life you must consistently push them to be their best and always let them know of your love and acceptance for them.

 

 


Lisa Brown TedX Austin College Extra Credit

Lisa Brown is a member of the Austin College staff, and is also a well-respected social psychologist she has accumulated quite a bit of research on the topic of racial bias along with social discrimination. Lisa questions the outlandish idea that we are currently living in the “post racial America” which is claimed to be evident in the presidency of Barack Obama, yet incidents of increase violence against unarmed black people continue to rise. Lisa insists Obama is a special kind of black man and a rarity of sorts even as a president he is the only commander and chief to have two degrees from ivy league institutions. Lisa insists that many people do not lack ability but are lacking determination she goes on to enlighten the audience that we all have the ability to accept one another but due to the difficulty of assimilating with one another, individuals choose to let that ability remain weak. Dr. Brown insists that once we increase our determination for social justice and acceptance of all walks of life we will reach true equality. Based on statistics Dr. Brown has found in her research she begs the question who in the United States justice system gets the benefit of the doubt?

Lisa has discovered through her research the less culturally influenced an individual looks or the lighter their skin is the less likely they are to receive harsher punishments and racial prejudice. Lisa’s claim shocked me because it leads me to believe that white America the over-all bully in this dilemma is okay with an ethnic person as long as they dilute their heritage to a certain extent and become accustom to so called “American life.” Dr. Brown suggests that white America is the bully and the number one cause for this social injustice taking place in our criminal justice system and streets do to the founding of our country in which white men and women took the lands from native Americans enforced black slavery and lead racial division and discrimination from day one so now that we have equality for every color in the job market, when an individual of color begins to take a white persons job, this leads a white person becoming frustrated and enraged insisting this is not the “American way” thus instilling even more hatred for other cultures in their heart and as the resulting cause you see the election of Donald Trump a man considered a bigot by most liberals and people who love to feed into whatever the left media tells them. Lisa Brown’s target audience are the bigots, the individuals fearful of learning new ways of life, individuals ignorant to acceptance, also to the socially intelligent. Lisa is attempting to awaken the ignorant. Lisa is trying to empower the socially intelligent individuals who have come accustom to acceptance and have found a love for new walks of life different from the ways they have been taught, she is attempting to get them to fight harder to bring about the extinction of ignorance.

I learned that because I am a college student I am less likely to experience harsh punishments in the court system unlike an individual my age who is a “Towny” because I am assumed to be a benefit to society and intelligent, whereas the “Towny” is assumed to be a waste of life and dumb. This idea sickens me and I fear there is no real fix to the social injustices that take place every day in America and across the world. This event relates to psychology because Dr. Brown is discussing what causes the thinking patterns and behaviors of individuals and groups that lead to racial stigma and injustice, much like Behaviorist would observe behavior or a psychoanalytic researcher would insist racial divide is learned from childhood experience. If I were to be in charge of the follow up event I would have Dr. Brown recall some of her original thoughts and more information from research she has been involved with. Then I would have actors portray a series of events where injustice and racial discrimination would play out before the audience. Following the examples I would have Dr. Brown ask the crowd what they see is the issue in the skits and how to attack the different issues. Next I would have Dr. Brown give an explanation as to why the small skits are so powerful for change, and how to combat the ways of thinking seen in the skit. Over-all I consider Dr.Brown to be an incredible individual whom embodies the perfect combination of beauty, awareness, determination, and intelligence. Austin College is blessed to have her on staff and I am blessed to learn from her.


Miguel’s issues

 

Psychodynamic: In Miguel’s early years his parents were very particular about his diaper training and toilet training leading to his obsessive compulsive disorder. As a child Miguel did not have much of a bed time schedule set by his parents. Miguel’s parents did not care much about Miguel’s school work and allowed him to slack off in the classroom, when Miguel was at home the only thing he focused on was the television. Miguel developed an attention deficit disorder from his lack of focus on anything but cartoons. Miguel has had severe insomnia for quite some time due to his non-existent bed time as a child when he would lie awake for hours consuming cartoons. The years of distress on Miguel’s brain is leading him into a depression.

Behaviorist: Miguel is experiencing an issue with sleeping because he is upset with his lack of ability to control his emotions, and his constant mistakes. His lack of focus stems from his lack of sleep and his irritability from his lack of sleep causes him to take his frustration out on his roommates which restarts the vicious cycle.

Humanists: Miguel is far from reaching Self-Actualization. He suffers from a lack of Physiological needs, due to his lack of sleep Miguel may not maintain the internal state of his body. Miguel does not reach his safety needs because he continues to put himself in distress by beating himself up for minute mistakes and denying himself rest at night. Miguel is too caught up in his pain to seek any pleasure. Miguel does not feel like he is loved or that he belongs due to his constant issues with the people he lives with and his constant inwardly abusive behavior, he receives no positive attention. Miguel’s esteem needs are far from being met because he feels like he may not do anything right and due to his lack of focus is struggling to find success in his school work. Miguel receives no approval from anyone most importantly himself.

Cognitive: Miguel’s brain his working over drive because he is so critical of himself and his actions, this comes off as rude to his roommates who find it hard to get along with someone so particular about minute details. While Miguel’s brain is working harder than the average relaxed well rested individual, His brain is also deprived from sufficient blood supply and restoration overnight due to his insomnia leading to his lack of focus in the classroom and what feels like constant mistakes. Miguel has his brain convinced that sleeping is not easy so once it is time to fall asleep Miguel is overly focused on the actual act of relaxation in return inducing anxiety and keeping him up all night.

 


What belief system consists of the highest percentage of self-actualized individuals?

This question I hold near to my heart. I am nearing my twenty first birthday and I find myself as almost a rarity of sorts. I claim to be somewhat of a unicorn due to my strong sense of self-actualization. I follow a God that I know has set a plan before me. I serve a God who promises me I will not go hungry, I will have shelter, and I will be clothed. My God has promised me that any danger that comes my way I will overcome, as is this is all apart of his plan for me. If the danger or fear I am experiencing does eventually take my life from me, I am ensured by my Savior that this is for his greater purpose. I may find safety and securities even whilst transgressed by paranoia, and anxiety. I worship the God who Loves me and the rest of humanity more than anything else in his creation, and insists I must love my neighbor as myself. I always feel as though I belong. My God has taught me that I am made in his wonderful image and that I was sculpted carefully by him, also that as long as he is with me I may accomplish all paths before me. I believe all of the concepts of my religion enforce Self-actualization on all of its true followers even at a relatively young age.

Hypothesis: Followers of Jesus Christ are most commonly self-actualized over opposing belief systems consisting of the beliefs of Humanism, Atheism, Agnosticism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Satanism, Islamism, Judaism, Sikhism and Catholicism. Some would argue Judaism and Catholicism follow the same God, This is incorrect. Judaism denies Jesus Christ of Nazareth as being the son of God thus distancing them from the Holy spirit the power that is alive in every follower of Jesus Christ. The same power that raised Jesus from the grave three days later after he was crucified on a cross for the sins of all humanity so that they may believe and follow him receiving eternal life in God. Catholicism agrees with Christianity in the sense that they accept Jesus Christ as the son of God, yet unlike Bible following Christians the traditions of Catholicism require their members to adhere to the traditions instilled by the catholic hierarchy; the pope can speak for God; Confession to a priest is required; Attending mass is required; To make it to heaven one must first be accepted into the catholic church by an ordained minister. These concepts interfere with a true relationship with the God of the bible and insinuate a false understanding of God’s forgiveness for his children after true repentance of sins.

Conducting my research would be rather simple and easy for a college student like myself to do with a couple dollars for gas.

1st- I would create a poster board and note cards illustrating Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. Physiological needs, Safety needs, Belonging and Love needs, Esteem needs, Self-Actualization needs

2nd- I would sit in front of the Cafeteria on campus and ask as many people to view the pyramid.

3rd- I would ask each individual what religion they assume to be categorized under and where on the hierarchy they see themselves at.

4th- I would repeat these steps outside of a church, synagogue, Buddhist and Hindu temples, Catholic Church, Mosque, etc…

5th- I would do the same process in a mall just to randomize the selection pool a little bit more.

Finally I would review the data and organize by belief system which faith contains the highest number of self-actualized individuals.

Do not think I forgot about the agnostics and atheists I am sure they will stumble into my research, and if you insist these are not belief systems trust me they are putting their faith in no faith. In order to make sure that the number of each belief system was rather similar I would make sure I got at least 100 individuals from each walk of life, but for the faiths that would be easier to obtain a larger number of individuals I would base the percentage off of whatever number of those individuals I recorded past 100.

 


About Me

Hello, I am De’Marcus Cooper
I am a sophomore at Austin college I transferred here last semester from a community college about 30 minutes south of here in Plano. I took an Ap Psychology class for a year in high school and I really enjoyed it so I decided to take this course to achieve another humanities credit while learning more about a subject that intrigues me. When I think of the word Psychology I honestly think of the human response to the way the spiritual world affects our lives without a spiritual lens to peer through; It is an odd perspective, I Understand and at times it may even be somewhat controversial. Just blame the way I was raised. I come from a household where a relationship with Christ is of utmost importance, being that my father is a minister and a youth pastor I have spent countless hours indulging in the Holy Bible while receiving it as God’s inspired word. Looking over the course material that our class will be covering this semester the three topics that jump out are as follows Social roles & Conformity, Mood Disorder & Anxiety, Drugs alcohol & the brain. I find interest in Social rules & Conformity, because I see it as a prominent issue in society today for one person to listen to the propaganda of one social group or of one individual and without truly Grasping and digesting the material, Humans are extremely quick to assert it as fact, or truth without any evidence. I find interest in the topic of Mood Disorder & Anxiety because I have experienced frequent anxiety on a daily basis along with reoccurring Anxiety Attacks and would like to better understand this issue for my own well-being. Drugs, Alcohol & the Brain… well-being the typical pastors kid that has always sounded like a lot of fun to me, I have had quite the experience with my own use of psychedelics, marijuana, cocaine, pills, and of course I have drunk myself to the point of no return, until my friends have to carry me back to my apartment and hold my head over a trashcan while I am blacked out, in order to keep me from inhaling my own puke only to wake up and take a hit off the blunt just to calm my stomach, I have been blessed with some great friends. As you can tell my brain may have become a little twisted after all of the abuse. So I am interested to find out what exactly have I done to my mind. The three subjects that at first glance seemed to be a boor are the Scientific Method, I mean seriously I have been taught the Scientific Method at the beginning of any course that has any inkling of relevance to Scientific studies since I was in elementary. Classical Conditioning, and Operant Conditioning, I remember these two psychological subjects from my days at Garland High School (Home of the Mighty Owls) one issue I find is we’ll literally be learning about how you learn, does that not just sound boring? and another fact that causes me to find these topics pragmatic, I always get one confused with the other and I am not excited for the Deja vu. Although I am certain our professor Dr.Macfarlane can find some way to make this material pop, after all isn’t that what we are paying him for? The one question I want to answer by the end of my class is… can a life based on spiritual truth be the answer for all mental illnesses?