This is a tough subject. Anytime you try to correct bad parenting the pride of the parent tends to get the best of them and then any suggestion afterwards is thrown out. Other parents don’t even care about what they do wrong, because they never wanted their kids in the first place. There are a few precepts to establish in order to fully develop a successful individual from an infant. If the child is starting life in an unbalanced household missing a father, mother, both, or torn between two different households the child is going to be at a disadvantage from the start but, there can be measures taken to ensure the child still feels the same love, acceptance and experiences quality discipline just like a child would from a full household. For the sake of this post we will discuss how two parents in a successful marriage, who have well thought out and planned their pregnancy should go about raising their child into a competent, confident and successful individual.
When raising a child you have to realize you’re not perfect and your flaws will affect your children but that is not your fault and do not beat yourself up over this, it’s just how the cookie crumbles. Now that is not to say that you should be openly smoking, drinking, arguing, and cursing around your children. Children repeat and learn from everything they see and hear while growing up. If you’re worried about your children receiving negative habits from you the first thing you have to do is reflect on what issues you have that you can choose to change. What things do you struggle with that you can choose to withhold from your children? In order to keep from tainting their outlook on life and give them the best chance at making their own decisions when the time comes. A child is going to want to do exactly what you say they can’t do. In order to lessen the intense rebellion most children feel towards their parents you have to tell your child right from wrong and allow them to decide for themselves. Now don’t just let your child walk into a pit of flames. At certain times you must be the hand of God and take their decision making from them when you know that they are about to get caught up in something they can learn from while avoiding. Hopefully through actively teaching your child through your own life they will have learned by the time these types of decisions come their way that they will have your guidance in the back of their mind and since you did not beat them over the head with your beliefs they will gladly listen to that recording of your voice in the back of their brain. Raising a child is not a competition and your child is not to showcase your greatness, they are their own individual and you have to let them be themselves. When raising a child you have to realize no matter how much you want them to be a 5 year old forever they won’t one day they will have their own career, their own husband or wife, and a child of their own.
Their are a few things you cannot do if you want your child to become successful in this life. Do not let your child disrespect you. Once a child has found out they can do whatever they want and get away with it the battle to regain that dominance over them is increasingly harder to win as they develop. Do not dismiss and neglect your child. Once your child feels their feelings do not matter to you, they will begin to harness a hatred for you and this will play out in their rebellion later on in life. I think the biggest issue with parenting these days is the generational curse of bad parenting. It takes a momentous epiphany to break the vicious cycle of bad parenting. Without a doubt the number one tactic you must hold prominent over-all in child development is discipline you must teach your child there is a consequence for every action in this life. Discipline should not be such a fearful thing for a child. Your child should fear what you’re capable of because this is healthy for their respect for you, but their fear should be placed more in your disappointment rather than the lashings. Spanking your children only teaches them how to survive through the physical pain after they have committed an offense. All the belt does is relieve your stress in a negative way and develop small amounts of hatred towards you in their minds. Now if you and your child both know they knew what they were doing was wrong, yet they went ahead and did it anyways, this is parameters for a whooping. When you do decide you have to get physical with a child do not do it out of anger but out of level headedness with their future in mind. Do not get outrageous with the pain you submit them to. Do not bully your child. Spankings are a last resort not the first. Remember a slap to the mouth although is satisfying to you, is not what is best for the child’s self esteem, a bar of soap will do you and your child much better in the long run. Finally if you want your child to be successful in this life you must consistently push them to be their best and always let them know of your love and acceptance for them.