Spotlight Post: The Effects of Divorce

Divorce can have both negative and positive effects on a child’s life. The high risks of divorce has a negative outcomes for both children and parents. In the first article I read, How Could Divorce Affect My Kids? has really good information and reasons of negative effects that a divorce can bring to a child’s life. The negative effects on a child are that it can cause emotional trauma, suffer academically, become delinquents, and develop an influence of drug and alcohol use. Parents who divorce have to deal with the child’s resentment to the custodial and absent parent because the children believe there is only one family relationship and, that is the mom and dad being together. A psychologist named Judith Wallerstein followed up a group of children from the years 1970’s- 1990’s with interviews over 5,10,15, and 25 years after the divorce happen to see their development and the effects the divorce had impacted their lives. She learnt that, even after 25 years the kids that suffered from divorce, keep experiencing troubles in life with fear of loss, failure, and fear of change or fear of conflict.Due to these kinds of effects anxiety builds up through the years of childhood all the way into adulthood which can have negative effects in future relationships.

Kathleen O’ Connell Corcoran’s article, Psychological and The Emotional Aspects of Divorce explains, that child’s reactions towards the divorce is affected by how close the child was with either parent before the divorce, the intensity and the duration the conflict between the parents been going on, and the ability for the parents to focus on the needs of the child after the separation of the parents. The children who suffer from divorce may go through child neglect if one of the parents no longer cares about him or her and focuses only in the new family or the life of the parent has created after the separation of the original family.Young children don’t understand divorce as easy as older children who do understand what it troubling the family leading for the young child to question the absence of one parent.Children would feel guilt, denial, anxiety, stress, depression, abandonment, low self esteem, lack of information, and anger or hostility.Children can be resentful leading them to become full of hatred and be vulnerable to get into bad decisions.This article is the most credible I think since it explains and provides useful information to the reader about the effects of divorce on children and parents.It also explains the process that leads to divorce and the statistics of divorce.

In the article, Divorce and Kids: 5 ways Divorce benefits Kids, by Dr. Shoshana Bennett for your Yourtango.com gives some points about the benefits for children when parents are divorced. Divorce can also have positive effects in a child’s life because all the tension between the parents is gone, meaning the child can relax without worrying about the parents conflicts. It can also lead to better relationships with parents because if the parents are happy then the kids can become happy for both of them instead of both parents trying to hurt each other. Children also get to experience both parents full attention since most of the times in a relationship one parent sometimes has more attention to the children than the other. Its also teaches the kids when parents divorce that is better to be in a healthier marriage than an unhealthy marriage.This article lacked more information about the benefits of divorce.In the article by Vickie Shemin, 4 Benefits Of Being A Child Of Divorce, shows that children can be fair minded, individual, high achievers, and emotionally intelligent. Children become more mature and learn to take responsibilities of their actions and wiser. The children learn to be more independent and learn from the mistakes that both parents made which helps them prevent those actions to happen again. I believe this article has some good points but can be controversial since not children feel these reasons lead to beneficial effects on divorce.

I believe children who are affected by divorce have more negative effects than positive effects because it leads to a low self esteem and causes more harm than good.The increase of divorce through the years can lead to problems in a child’s life causing trauma. It also affects the children’s way of living and future relationships.I believe that divorce for children is something serious and it can damage a kid’s living conditions.

Sources:

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce-and-infidelity/should-i-get-a-divorce/how-could-divorce-affect-my-kids

http://www.mediate.com/articles/psych.cfm

http://www.mediate.com/articles/SheminVbl20160415.cfm

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/18/divorce-and-kids-5-ways-d_n_1519485.html

spotlight post

In this spotlight post I found three different websites that offer study tips to students of various age groups. One website is targeted toward college students, another is targeted at adults, and the last is targeted toward middle school and high school students. I will compare the study tips offered by the websites to those we were taught in class and what we read in our psychology book.

The first website I found was an article written by the Huffington post. The article recommends nine different study habits for college students. These study tips are, alternate study spaces, having homework groups, using flashcards, taking tests, sleeping, don’t categorize yourself, go to class, don’t immerse yourself in one topic, and manage your time. Most of these tips are actually supported by our professor’s video lecture and our class textbook. Our professor’s video lecture does say to work in study groups, to use flashcards effectively, to make practice tests for ourselves, and to use distributed practice (studying multiple topics over a length of time). also our textbook does say that ” students who pull all-nighters…wind up working less efficiently and effectively than they would if they were to sleep the 8 or 9 hours they need” (Comer and Gould 213). However there is no support in our textbook or online lecture for, alternating study spaces, not categorizing yourself, going to class, and managing time. I will say though, that going to class and having good time management are extremely important for succeeding academically. I am not certain that alternating one’s study space or not categorizing one’s study habits are credible ways to improve study habits based off of the information we learned in class. Overall I would say that this website offers some good study habits, but not all of them seem valid.

The next website I found was a blog on a universities website called aiuniv.edu which has five study tips for adult learners. These tips are, use varied study materials, focus on time management, be well prepared and take notes, don’t procrastinate, and connect with learning resources. The first study habit of using various study methods is supported by our video lecture because using flashcards, studying in groups, or even making practice tests, all fall under the broad category of various study methods. Again time management is not necessarily supported by any evidence from our textbook or our class video lecture, but I still believe it is essential to manage time wisely for studying. Taking notes is crucial to being able to review the material, but using more than just one’s notes to study is what is recommended by our professor in our video lecture. Procrastination is definitely something to be avoided, as stated in our video lecture studying the material over a long period of time is much better than procrastinating and having to cram last minute. The last study habit, connecting with learning resources, is another way of saying study in groups and use tutoring services, which is supported by our professor’s video lecture. This website contains good study habits and seems to be supported with the material covered in our class.

lastly, I found a website that has six study tips for middle school and high school students. The tips are, find the right spot, set the mood, use time management, limit distractions, have a check list, and a check- in. There is not much evidence in our book or in the video lecture that supports finding certain locations and setting the mood to be helpful during studying. The only thing that is relative to that is the idea of context and retrieval which our book states that ” it is often easier to retrieve particular information when we return to the setting… in which we first encoded it” (Comer and Gould 286). while this is true, if encoding takes place in an are that is not similar to an exam setting, such as playing music in the background or laying in bed, then there is no benefit. I do believe, as I have said earlier, that time management is key to studying successfully, even though there is not much support of this in our textbook. Limiting distractions is also important for studying because, as stated in our text book, we cannot encode properly without attention and we cannot pay attention to anything if we are distracted. Having a check list can allow us to not forget things, which can help us remember what to study, but it does not play an active role in the process of studying. lastly, the author of this article mentions that checking in with a parent for help can be a good study habit. I would say that it would be better to study with groups of other students, and then if the students were to get stuck they should get a parent to help with the problem.

Links:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/08/study-tips-for-college-_n_709096.html?slideshow=true#gallery/10344/8

http://www.aiuniv.edu/blog/march-2015/study-tips-for-adult-learners

https://www.weirdunsocializedhomeschoolers.com/study-tips-for-middle-and-high-school-students/

Personality Tests

Let me begin by saying that I am sometimes a little skeptical about online personality tests because the choices answered are recorded as a bunch of ones and zeroes. I don’t think an algorithm of ones and zeroes, which is used by some personality tests, describes who someone is. Nevertheless, they seem to be pretty accurate for me most of the time so I trust them a little bit. The “Humanmetrics” test had questions without a lot of range in the degree to which that situation or statement relates to you. For me, this limits the validity to their assessment of my personality. Their assessment, however, was the same persoanlity acronym as the second link in the list- ENFP. All 4 of the personality tests described me as an extrovert which I agree with because I like to be around other people than by myself, typically. While I tend to hold back letting people get close to me because I generally do not trust people, I do sympathize with people which the third link described me as. I don’t trust the third link as much as the other links because of its third factor. Its third factor, agreebleness, described me as agreeing with people so I won’t offend them. I disargee with this assessment completely in that I stick to what I believe in, regardless of whether they feel offended by it. The fourth test with colors surprised me with its accuracy. It described me as being extroverted and creative, just like the first three tests, but I didn’t even answer 50-60 questions about myself. The validity of the fourth test is relatively high for me because it had the same results as the other three tests.

The Effects of Divorce

Over the years, divorce has not only increased in frequency, but has increased in acceptance throughout Western culture. Members born in earlier generations most likely do not need statistics to recognize the fact more marriages end in divorce today than they did decades ago. Perhaps this trend was initially a result of the modification of traditional gender roles which took place in the 20th century (I.e. the addition of more women to the workforce, the development of birth control, and even simply the incorporation of the 19th amendment). Although divorce primarily serves as a method for married couples to make changes which each individual hopes will promote future happiness, it also serves as an extremely heavy change in events for the children involved. In an article on the impact of divorce on children and adolescents, psychologist Carl Pickhardt claims “divorce tends to intensify the child’s dependence and it tends to accelerate the adolescent’s independence.” He claims children tend to experience a short-term, but anxious reaction to divorce as their worlds become filled with negative and even frightening ideas about what will happen in the future and if whether or not they are at some fault. His claims are quite reasonable, as divorce really does have a strong impact on any child of any age, causing them to mentally grow up real fast. Firsthand observation of divorce really symbolizes firsthand observation of life in the real world. This unexpected exposure to the negativities of the real world may be the reason why adolescents tend to exhibit aggressive and controlling behavior towards their own lives, as Pickhardt claims they do.

Although divorce is never an ideal resolution to marital conflict, I personally believe parents who retain their marriage for the sake of the kids promote a false sense of security and well-being. Children are impressionable, as they have not yet solidified their own foundation of happiness. In addition, children are most influenced by their parents. If a child observes an unhappy marriage despite their parents’ marital intactness and false claims of happiness, how will they know what a happy marriage really looks like? Furthermore, an article published in Scientific American states that divorce really only affects most children in the short run, although these effects are quite negative and emotionally draining. This claim ties in with the claims made in Pickhardt’s article. The journal goes on to claim that children of divorce do well in the long run and cites studies which state it is actually the high levels of parental conflict which contribute to a child’s poor performance. I agree with this claim and the research which supports it. If a divorce truly allows each parent to live a happier life, then a more peaceful home environment is promoted. I also liked how the article offered suggestions which will allow the children to fare better after the divorce, such as suggesting that parents should consistently provide emotional warmth and comfort throughout the divorce, while minimizing conflict associated with the divorce (or at least minimize exposure to conflict). For the most part, I was in agreement with the article until I came upon the last line, which states: “most children bounce back and get through this situation with few if any battle scars.” While I do believe divorce results in more negative short-term effects which diminish with time, I do believe children of divorce always carry the battle scar of divorce with them, as symbolized by things such as the absence of a parent in the household. Much like a scar, a person will always possess the memories associated with a divorce and will live with the internal effects the divorce caused them (although they will diminish- like a scar).

One final thing to mention is the influence of divorce on self-esteem. A quasi experiment performed by undergraduate students at Indiana University South Bend revealed there to be no significant effects between parental marital status, gender, and adult self-esteem. It points out the important role the environment plays in child development and suggests divorce tends to disrupt a child’s developmental environment. One very plausible claim made is if the pre-divorce period is filled with conflict and fighting, a divorce will practically relieve the child’s self-esteem. While I do agree with the point which the study attempts to make, I think further studies should be conducted to determine an average rate at which these children regain their self-esteem. It would appear to me that while adding a divorce to conflict would resolve much tension and anger, it would only result in fearful thoughts made by the child, such as pondering if whether or not they are at fault for the divorce. Overall, I believe that like most impactful and traumatizing events, the evident effects of divorce diminish with time. That is not to say a person does not still retain the emotional effects and past memories associated with the divorce throughout their lifetime.

Works Cited:

https://www.iusb.edu/ugr-journal/static/2002/krider.php

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201112/the-impact-divorce-young-children-and-adolescents

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/